Dear Marty,
I do a lot of laundry.  So much that I had to institute the Homeland Laundry Advisory System.  It's busy at our house, so most of the time I do that laundry late at night after the kids are in bed.  By that time of the day, I'm really tired and I just throw the laundry in without a second glance.  After five years of marriage, I discovered that this method had some flaws.  Namely, that some of your things came out of the wash smaller than your body size.  So, after some consideration, I instituted the "special basket" method in which I've asked you to place your "special care" items.  Like anything you bought in London.  Or those fancy golf shirts made in France that are made from baby-grade cotton.  With this method, I can ensure that I will wash those items only in cold and not one single thing will ever go in the dryer.

So, three days ago when I saw you wearing your new favorite blue shirt, I tapped your collar and said "Don't forget to put this in the special basket."  You smiled at me and said, "Yes honey, I won't forget."

So, last night when I was pulling a load out of the dryer, your fancy blue shirt spilled out of the top of the basket and onto the floor.  And now the only way you're going to be able to wear it is if you have some ribs removed.  And if it goes into the regular laundry basket again, it's going to be Martin's.

Yours in downy freshness,
Jennie