Last week, when I saw that the Beastie Boys came out with a new album, I decided on the spot to buy it.  I flashed back to my youth.  Canoing around the Chain of Lakes with a whole slew of girlfriends, listening to License to Ill on a tape in somebody's boombox.  We sang along to "Fight for Your Right to Party", despite the fact that we were in junior high and really the only thing I had to for was my right to sit in the front seat against my formidable opponent, my brother.  So even though I was a bit young for the content, and a bit removed from the culture (compare and contrast: Cold Spring v. Brooklyn), I loved this album.  Even now, the lyrics pop up in conversations, even if they are only occurring in my head.  For example, when I hear someone say that their friend loves to knit, I think "She's craf-ty, she gets around".  Are you with me?

So, imagine my surprise when I put the new CD in my car and realized, after playing the whole thing, that it's an INSTRUMENTAL.  THE WHOLE ALBUM.  It never even occurred to me that it might be, because these guys are OLD TIME HIP-HOP RAPPERS.  Who used to RAP.  But now an instrumental?  What does this mean?  Does this mean that they've become the Yanni of our generation?

So, let me provide you a service.  Let me give you my take on the album then you can decide for yourself if you're going to fork out the bucks to pick it up and analyze it for yourself.  Or, you could always test drive it by checking it out at the library.  Might as well check out a little Yanni while you're at it, old woman.

The album breaks down into two parts:
Part I: Songs one and two, which sounding so much alike, combine to form "The Beginning".  This song(s) sound much like you might imagine you'd choose if you were going to make a movie of your life and had a scene where you and a few of your pals are walking down the street, heading toward something important - or - ironing out the details in your plan to take over the world and, at some point, make references to "the mainframe".  Side note: Martin likes songs one and two and insists that they actually are one song.
Part II: In every live concert performance, there's the time in the show when the band stops playing the hits you know and starts to play the song I like to call "jam session" aka "time to get a beer".  This is the song where the band takes turns showing off and it might be really fun for them, but for the general concert goer, this is like a flare on the stage to notify you that it's time to get a drink or go to the bathroom.  And that describes songs 3-12.

In summary, save your cash and pull out your old worn License to Ill tape and spend the next twenty minutes trying to find something around your house that can play it.