Before you
I've always had a hard time imagining the life my parents led before I was born. Sure, I know bits of it from stories, but it's not the full picture. Which is probably good. But the thing about this is that as the child, you sort of imagine that their life COULDN'T have been very complete without you because from what you can see, their life is FILLED with you. And I guess in many ways, this is true.
Here's a conversation I had with Martin awhile ago as we prepared for his birthday:
Me: You know, Saturday is a special day for me too because it marks the day I became a momma. I wasn't a momma until you arrived.
Martin: Well, what were you? A baby?
Me: Yeah. Pretty much.
At the risk of sounding like I've been watching too much Dr. Phil, I think becoming a wife and mother has brought out my best self (so far). I think a big part of it is that I really just have less time to worry about "stuff" and when I think about it, a big part of the "stuff" I worried about was how my life would progress. Would I find someone I wanted to marry? Would he want to marry be back? Would I have a decent job? Would I ever be able to afford a house that wouldn't end up condemned? Would I be able to have children? Would they be healthy? So maybe now that I've moved past the wave of questions that filled my mind for so long, I finally have room to relax and just enjoy life a bit more.
Martin may never be able to really imagine what I was like before he was born. Even as he hears stories (and hopefully there will be some he'll never hear... those are the same kind of stories you hope your parents never hear and since mine read this blog let's just keep those to ourselves, shall we?) he'll probably have a hard time imagining that it was me. It will be like hearing about how my dad skipped his college courses to play 500 in the student lounge. Or thinking about what it was like for my parents before they were married as my dad served in Vietnam. Or imagining my parents living in a trailer house. You can believe they had a life before you and that it might have been very different than life after your arrival, but it's still hard to imagine.
Here's a conversation I had with Martin awhile ago as we prepared for his birthday:
Me: You know, Saturday is a special day for me too because it marks the day I became a momma. I wasn't a momma until you arrived.
Martin: Well, what were you? A baby?
Me: Yeah. Pretty much.
At the risk of sounding like I've been watching too much Dr. Phil, I think becoming a wife and mother has brought out my best self (so far). I think a big part of it is that I really just have less time to worry about "stuff" and when I think about it, a big part of the "stuff" I worried about was how my life would progress. Would I find someone I wanted to marry? Would he want to marry be back? Would I have a decent job? Would I ever be able to afford a house that wouldn't end up condemned? Would I be able to have children? Would they be healthy? So maybe now that I've moved past the wave of questions that filled my mind for so long, I finally have room to relax and just enjoy life a bit more.
Martin may never be able to really imagine what I was like before he was born. Even as he hears stories (and hopefully there will be some he'll never hear... those are the same kind of stories you hope your parents never hear and since mine read this blog let's just keep those to ourselves, shall we?) he'll probably have a hard time imagining that it was me. It will be like hearing about how my dad skipped his college courses to play 500 in the student lounge. Or thinking about what it was like for my parents before they were married as my dad served in Vietnam. Or imagining my parents living in a trailer house. You can believe they had a life before you and that it might have been very different than life after your arrival, but it's still hard to imagine.
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