I'm officially grown up now.  I'm on list of ladies who are called upon at our church to bring food for funerals.  I'm sort of surprised that they call me because my name can't be familiar to them since we barely ever go to church.  It's not that I'm opposed to church, it's just that it seems like such a big hassle to go.  We spend the whole time shushing the kids, trying to keep the kids from running wild down the aisles, and giving them snacks to keep them busy (seriously, when else would they scarf down piles of stale Kix like they've never been fed before despite the fact that they usually just ate breakfast).  We don't get to hear a thing that is said in mass and neither does anyone else around us.  My dad says that if we took the kids more they'd probably get used to it and would behave.  Maybe this is true, but at this point, it just feels like an exercise meant to see if I can make it through the hour without breaking into tears or spending the whole time in the narthex trying to keep one child or the other from tearing into the church screaming for more snacks.

I got on the list when we became members of the church and we were asked to sign up for a few activities.  I wrote down that I'd be willing to occasionally bring something for funerals, and I noted that Marty could play the trumpet (despite the fact that I've only heard him toot out a few pep band songs throughout the seven years I've known him).  I've been called on twice to bring food for funerals, and strangely, no one has called to see if Marty wants to grace the church with his heavenly tones.

The first time I was called to bring something I said I would bring a dessert.  I imagined making some delicious homemade dessert, and ended up running to the grocery store the morning it was due and picking up some pre-made brownies from the in-store bakery.  I was kind of embarrassed when I dropped it off at the church but figured that I'd eat these brownies so it should suffice for the funeral luncheon.  Marty's Aunt Louise told me that I should keep a few boxes of cake mix and Suddenly Salads in my cupboard just for these occasions.  So, this time, I was ready when the church lady called me.

She said, "There's a funeral Thursday.  What can you bring?"

"What do you need?"  I asked.

She answered, "Salad or dessert would be fine.  But make it a double batch.  If you're going to bring a Jell-O salad, use two boxes.  The big ones."

This sounds like a simple directive, but there's really a lot there between the lines:
1. Salad doesn't indicate lettuce, it really means Jell-O with fruit and/or whipped topping.
2. Make something, don't buy it.
3. Don't be cheap, bring a lot.

So, tonight I whipped up two boxes of Suddenly Salad and added a can of sliced black olives to really spice it up.  After all, I'd hope somebody would do the same when the time comes for my funeral.  It's not JUST Suddenly Salad, it's Suddenly Salad WITH black olives.  Classy.